"The Unexpected Visitor" by Miss Cragun

This morning I woke up next to you
I couldn't stop from screaming, "eew!"

I knew what you wanted to do
looking at me with big eyes so blue.

I really can't stand the sight of you
I hate your stupid name, Lou.

Taking that to be your cue,
You started to coo and mew.

Although I think you already knew
My stomach wanted to spew,

My mother I wanted to sue,
And to church I'll pray in a pew!

How could she buy a cat like you?
I need to drink my Mountain Dew!